What is the deal with this? People compete to be the most busy, the most rushed, and the most stressed. Like it’s an Olympic sport. 

I really love the meme that has been popping up lately that states: 

“We need to stop glamorizing overworking. Please. 

The absence of sleep, good diet, exercise, and time with friends and family is not something to be applauded. 

Too many people wear their burnout as a badge of honor. 

And it needs to change.”

What if, when standing around the water cooler, we bragged about how much sleep we got last night? Or how great we’re doing keeping our lives in balance? Wouldn’t that be a cool paradigm shift?  

To be clear, I’m not writing this from the perspective of someone who has never slipped into this mode. I’ve done it. Especially as a young professional trying to do everything. And as a working mom keeping many balls in the air. As I’ve gotten older and maybe a little wiser, I see how I contributed to the chaos in my life.

This article is not meant to shame anyone who is struggling to keep it all together. Rather, I’m going to share my observations on the topic as well as the importance of balance. A while back I wrote about Self Care, which relates closely to this topic. I also want to look at what we, as leaders, can do to help make this shift. 

So Much to Do, So Little Time

I recently came to the realization that I have more books that I want to read, than I will ever be able to get through in my lifetime. At first I was a little bummed when I recognized this. Then I mentioned this to a friend and he had a completely different reaction. He said: “Isn’t that awesome! There are so many great books in the world and so many options.” The difference a shift in perspective can make! 

While I would love to read all the books on my reading list (and all the books I have yet to discover), I don’t HAVE to get to them. I will read the ones I really want to get to. And I’ll read the ones I need for work or education. Some will just present themselves at the right time and I’ll get to them. 

The book thing got me thinking about all the things we fill our time with. If we were to work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, there would still be projects to do or tasks to complete. Just like the book thing. We have a limited amount of time to give and we each have to decide for ourselves how much of it we are going to commit to the different areas of our life. Making this a thoughtful decision is key to balance and self care. 

How to Spend Your Time

First let’s focus on our work time. And the first step in this is deciding how much time you will work – full-time, part-time, project based, etc. If you’re self-employed, clearly define how much time you will commit to your business. 

Next I like to think of our work time divided into three categories: NEED TO, WANT TO, and SHOULD. 

• NEED TO: There are the things we absolutely have to do. Likely these items are outlined on our job description or they are directives from our supervisor. If our job is important to us, then we have to do these things. 

Items on the NEED TO list can sometimes be subjective. For example, if an employee has a need for perfection, they may triple check their work. Another employee who has the ability to run through a project accurately on the first try might not have that need. 

• WANT TO: These are projects that we believe will improve the company, culture, product or service. They are initiatives that we want to pursue, but are not required to work on. WANT TO projects provide fulfillment and engagement. Often these are the reasons we enjoy our jobs and make us care about the company. 

Depending on the amount of autonomy you have at work, this might be something you need to negotiate with your supervisor. Being clear about the things on your NEED TO list, and how your WANT TO items will benefit the company will help with your discussion. Also, if the WANT TO projects are the only thing keeping you at a company, they may truly be NEED TOs. 

• SHOULD: Items on this list are things that are not required from you, and you probably don’t really want to do them either. It’s best to avoid SHOULDing on ourselves. The SHOULDs need to be evaluated to see what’s really going on there. You clearly feel an obligation to the task. Consider why that is and if it really belongs on the NEED TO list. 

An example is a project that you don’t want to do, but that would make you look really good to your boss. If you are actively working to advance at work, then you might want to shift it to your NEED TO list. On the other hand, if you are new to a position and it makes more sense for you to focus on your primary responsibilities, then this item probably needs to be removed altogether. 

Too often we approach everything that comes our way as a NEED TO. By thinking through how to categorize the many demands on our time, we can make decisions that will keep us from becoming overworked. 

Not Just a Work Problem

While at work, the NEED TOs take priority, in our personal life there should be a better balance between NEED TO and WANT TO. Being overworked or overextended is not just a work problem. Homes, family, friends, hobbies, volunteering, and more quickly fill up our non-work time. The problem is usually amplified for women who tend to carry the majority of home and child care duties. 

Categorizing tasks and activities can be applied to our personal time as well. This process can be a useful tool for families to use in order to distribute tasks or to decide what is really important. Having a clean kitchen might be a NEED TO for one person and a SHOULD for another. There might be items on your SHOULD list that really need to be outsourced because no one wants to do them, but eventually they NEED TO be done (hello housecleaning!) 

Evaluating the ways you spend your time can also reveal opportunities for positive change. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, scrolling social media for an hour before bed could be the culprit. When we think intentionally about how we spend our time, we will probably choose quality sleep over looking at cat memes. 

Leading Change

As a leader the categories still do not change. The biggest difference is that you are the one making decisions about what NEEDS TO be done for the company or organization. With this difference comes the power to drive change. As I see it, there are four key areas where today’s leaders can help reduce the glamorization of the overworked: 

• Create jobs that are manageable – evaluate jobs regularly to ensure that they can be completed in the allotted time. Avoid filling every minute of a staff person’s time. Encourage creativity and staff taking initiative. This can lead to new solutions and  processes, and energize staff. 
• Ensure NEEDS TO are really needs – your role is to divide the many tasks and projects that it takes to operate your business. As time goes on, priorities change. The leader’s job is to make sure that tasks remain relevant and true NEED TOs.
• Set a good example – monitor your own use of time. Nothing encourages balance like the leader making it a priority. If you do need to put in extra hours, don’t make a show of it. The leader’s behavior will create the culture.  
• Encourage balance – beyond demonstrating work-life balance, talk about it. Tell staff why it’s important. Help them figure out how to manage their role in a healthy way. If you observe a staff person engaging in the “I’m So Busy” competition, have a conversation with them. 

In today’s job market, leaders need to provide jobs that people want. This means work-life balance, opportunities for meaningful contributions, personal development, and a culture they will enjoy. Businesses that figure out how to do this will attract the best employees. 

Need help with creating a healthy culture? Email me at kim@athena-coco.com to schedule a free 30-minute discovery call to start creating a culture that celebrates work-life balance. 

Kim is a mom, wife, lover of being active and the outdoors,
and helper of small businesses and nonprofits.
kim@athena-coco.com